8:50 am - tracks
I have been thinking a lot lately about what I want to do. Soon I will be in college hopefully preparing for a career. After an education, I'll have my career, work hard and do well, get promotions, make money, invest money. I'll get married. Have kids.
Kids. Isn't that what it boils down to? Of all the things I will do, that will probably have the most lasting impact. When I die I won't be thinking of the money or the promotions. I'll be thinking about the people I have loved and cared for and those who have loved and cared for me.
Perhaps in college I really should be studying something that will help me raise my children. Not "how to be a mommy" classes of course, but psychology, education, child development. In my life, I have met close to zero parents where I have sat back and thought, "Wow. This person is a great mother/father."
I have found through living with families and observing families, that even if a person has kids, they are by no means an expert at raising them. Most parents, in some form or another, push their weaknesses and insecurities onto their children. Many assume that "kids will be kids" and their squabbles over "this is mine" and "you said that" are about holes in the ground or candy or toys. But it's often not about that. It's about integrity, keeping promises, being truthful. If a parent wants to teach their kids not to lie, they have to embody truth - be it as well as teach it. If the parent makes a mistake, they show that it's OK to goof up and learn from errors.
It's a difficult task and I'm never surprised that no parent is perfect. But I am surprised how under prepared parents often are when it comes to being role models and educators. Or how little they are willing to seek help and ask for advice.
No matter what, I'll have a career. I think it is important for women to be financially independent of their husbands, because so often they get the worst of divorces when the husband is the sole breadwinner. I'll never rely on someone completely. But the skills I learn that will ultimately be the most important are those that help me raise children into happy adults.
Kids. Isn't that what it boils down to? Of all the things I will do, that will probably have the most lasting impact. When I die I won't be thinking of the money or the promotions. I'll be thinking about the people I have loved and cared for and those who have loved and cared for me.
Perhaps in college I really should be studying something that will help me raise my children. Not "how to be a mommy" classes of course, but psychology, education, child development. In my life, I have met close to zero parents where I have sat back and thought, "Wow. This person is a great mother/father."
I have found through living with families and observing families, that even if a person has kids, they are by no means an expert at raising them. Most parents, in some form or another, push their weaknesses and insecurities onto their children. Many assume that "kids will be kids" and their squabbles over "this is mine" and "you said that" are about holes in the ground or candy or toys. But it's often not about that. It's about integrity, keeping promises, being truthful. If a parent wants to teach their kids not to lie, they have to embody truth - be it as well as teach it. If the parent makes a mistake, they show that it's OK to goof up and learn from errors.
It's a difficult task and I'm never surprised that no parent is perfect. But I am surprised how under prepared parents often are when it comes to being role models and educators. Or how little they are willing to seek help and ask for advice.
No matter what, I'll have a career. I think it is important for women to be financially independent of their husbands, because so often they get the worst of divorces when the husband is the sole breadwinner. I'll never rely on someone completely. But the skills I learn that will ultimately be the most important are those that help me raise children into happy adults.
Procreating is not just about raising children, it's about raising oneself.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, another great photo--would make a nice print.
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